Sleepless in Hawaii
by AlexFan4Life
Summary: Will Steve survive almost losing the most important person to him during a recovery mission to North Korea?


**SUMMARY**

Will Steve survive almost losing the most important person to him during a recovery mission to North Korea?

**DISCLAIMER**

I lost a two-out-of-three game of Roshambo and thus must only borrow McRoll once again. **_I _****_HATE_****_ when that happens!_**

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Like almost every night, Steve found himself sitting out back on his private beach long past sunset with a Longboard in his hand. But this time, instead of enjoying the evening's calmness and light breeze off the water, he had a mixed bag of feelings that had eaten away at his insides.

He wasn't feeling depressed. He wasn't sick. He wasn't even hurt, except for the minor cut above his right eyebrow. But yet, he had an ache in his chest that wouldn't go away. This ache was so strong it brought tears to his eyes.

Today, he had finally made it possible for Freddie to have the burial he and his family deserved. He should feel good… redeemed, right? How could he though? In his quest to rid himself of the guilt he'd harbored for three years after leaving Freddie's body in North Korea, he almost lost the most important person to him, next to his mother and sister. What would he have done or become if he hadn't gotten Catherine out alive? What was he thinking letting her go along with him? Yes, she's a strong woman in her convictions, and she put up a pretty good argument about her going with him on what almost became a suicide mission rather than a recovery mission.

Mission. It hadn't been a "mission." Nobody sanctioned their trip back into the jungles of North Korea. It was a personal trip back to hell to recover the body of a friend lost in battle. Steve had thought that if he could bring Freddie home, he'd FINALLY get a full night's sleep, nightmare free; something he hadn't experienced in the last three years.

The "mission" had been a success, so why was he sitting alone contemplating his decisions of the past 72 hours? Why? Because he let his convictions get in the way of his better judgment and someone got hurt. Not just someone… Catherine.

_**Flashback**_

_Catherine cracked a few ribs during a failed escape attempt by one of the North Korean combatants Steve had faced during their original mission. They had captured him this time for intel on where Freddie's body was buried. After they left the combatant lying on the ground tied up with a grenade underneath him, they approached the camp, but were captured by the enemy._

_As they sat there kneeling on the ground with rifles pointing to the back of their heads, for what could have been their final moments, Steve still hadn't been able to bring himself to tell Catherine how much she meant to him. Or how much her sacrifice and undying devotion all these years had meant to him. _

_Fate had shined down on them that day as the grenade they had left under the combatant blew up and startled the enemy, giving Steve and Cath a chance to disarm and take them out, and finally take Freddie home._

_**End of Flashback**_

Why didn't he tell her? Blaming it on his Neanderthal ways and lack of communication skills, as Danny pointed out on a regular basis, didn't cut it this time. He was a Lt. Cmdr. and a SEAL in the United States Navy for Christ sakes. He HAD to have unmatched communication skills or people died. Why when it came to his personal life, could he not express himself with words as easily as he gave commands to his SEAL brothers?

He downed what was left of his now warm Longboard, stood, and stared out on the horizon with a new determination. He had one final mission of the evening…

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

As Steve pulled up to Catherine's house, he noticed none of the lights were on. He couldn't let that stop him though. The guilt he was feeling for putting her in harm's way weighed too heavily on his heart and soul. He needed to make sure she was okay. He wouldn't be able to rest until he knew. And then even so, he wasn't sure he'd be able to rest knowing his selfish ways had gotten her hurt.

He put the truck in park, and with a heavy sigh, quietly trudged up to the door. After taking a deep breath, he hanged his head and lightly rapped. He dropped his arm to his side as if it weighed a ton. After several minutes of nothingness, he lifted his arm again to knock, but the door slowly opened to reveal Cath standing there in pale blue night shorts and a matching tank top with the word NAVY written across the front.

As Steve lifted his head to face Catherine, she could instantly see that he'd had a rough night. His eyes were sunken and blood shot, and his hair was standing up in all directions and looked like he had ran his fingers through it a thousand times. "What's wrong?" He didn't move or make a sound. The teary, deer-in-the-headlights look she got in return stopped her cold. After a moment, she reached up and cupped his cheek and whispered, "Steve."

Just hearing his name seemed to temporarily break him of the spell he was under. Without saying a word or realizing he was moving, he placed one foot in front of the other and stepped inside.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Cath could see the turmoil and vulnerability in his eyes and the way his shoulders sagged. This was not the stoic Navy SEAL she was used to seeing before her. This was the Steve few people ever saw.

As Cath took in Steve's appearance, he silently reached for her t-shirt and lifted it up to see her bruised ribs. Steve lightly ran his fingers over the gruesome-looking bruise on her left side as Cath winced at his touch. He knelt down, closed his eyes, and brushed his lips along the dark purple that's painted her delicate skin. As she looked down at Steve, she could see the tears that he had been straining to keep in, had now ran down his face. She reached down and cupped both of his cheeks in her soft hands and tilted his face up towards hers. His eyes were still closed and his hands were sitting lightly at her waist as she lightly wiped away the tears with her thumbs.

Steve literally fell forward and rested his forehead on her stomach and wrapped his arms around her mid-section and squeezed tight. Catherine was overcome with emotion as she leaned over and rested her cheek on the top of Steve's head and started caressing her fingers through his hair. Time seemed to stand still.

After what felt like an eternity, Cath kissed the top of his head and whispered "it's okay." Those two simple words seemed to spur on more tears and a tighter grip from Steve. "Shhhhh… it's okay." Steve was inconsolable and Cath suddenly realized what it was that he needed to hear… "**_I'm okay... Steve, I'm okay._**"

Eventually, Steve looked back up at Cath and saw that tears had steamed down her face as well. Not for herself, but for the look of anguish on Steve's face. She rarely saw this vulnerable side of him and it took her breath away.

Steve stood and wrapped himself around her in a warm embrace, tucking his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent that always smelled of jasmine.

Cath then stepped back from him and took his hand and, without a sound, walked her and Steve into her bedroom where she began to slowly take off his clothes. She then removed her own and again took his hand, leading him into her bathroom suite. She reached into her walk-in shower and started the water, never letting go of Steve's hand.

After testing the water and making sure it was just right, Cath looked into Steve's tortured eyes and stepped into the shower and pulled him in with her, never breaking eye contact or letting go of his hand.

Turning Steve's back to the water, it cascaded down his back and over his sagging shoulders. Cath stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Steve's waist and placed light kisses on his neck, shoulders, and along his collarbone.

Those simple caresses seemed to wake Steve up and pull him back from the dark abyss of his tormented mind. Cath wasn't gone. She was here and standing right in front of him. He hadn't lost his chance to tell her what she meant to him.

As she gazed into his eyes, he reached up and lightly stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. With his other free hand, he tangled his fingers in her hair at the back of her neck.

After staring into each other's deep pool of emotion filled eyes, Steve finally spoke, and without any hesitation, whispered "I love you." No other words were needed.

Steve leaned down and captured Cath's lips in a kiss that instantly turned very heated and passionate. Between the hot steam of the shower and the hot steamy kisses, both were very aroused as they grabbed and hung onto each other forcefully as if this was the last time they'd be together.

Steve surged forward and pressed Cath's back into the tiled wall of the shower. He ran his hands down her shoulders and arms to her hands and entwined their fingers together as he raised her arms above her head.

He held her in place for a moment and just stared into her eyes. Cath knew what he wanted and left her arms in place as Steve caressed down her arms, her sides, and wrapped his hands around her thighs to her soft, wet backside.

Steve continued to gaze into her eyes as he smoothed one of his hands back over her hip and rubbed her clit with his thumb while he massaged her folds with his fingers. This caused Cath to thump her head back against the tile as her mouth fell open and she heaved her chest up and down.

Cath was mesmerized by Steve's stare and never looked away as he continued his assault on her body. As he pressed his arousal into her stomach, she knew he was as close as she was.

Steve softly touched his way back to her backside and, with both hands, lifted her up and impaled her onto his stiff arousal. Cath wrapped her legs around his waist and linked her ankles together to hold herself in place.

With him deep inside her warm core, he moved his way back up her body until he reached her hands again and entwined their fingers once more. Steve stood still, overwhelmed with desire for this woman who risked her life for him; for this woman who always was there for him, whether he knew it or not at the time. Their eyes spoke volumes and told each other what their hearts had always felt.

As Steve started moving in and out at a torturously-slow and mind-, body-, and soul-tingling pace, Cath squeezed Steve's hands. Her orgasm started stirring low in her gut and itched just under her skin.

Steve strained to keep control long enough for them both to fall over the edge together. In their seven year relationship, Steve and Cath had sex a lot, but this time was different. It wasn't just sex. It felt different and meant something different.

As the steam engulfed their bodies, Cath's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she arched her body into Steve as she lost herself in the love and pleasure he was giving her. She squeezed her hips and muscles tightly around him and moaned as she reached her peek. Steve also moaned and fell over the edge the moment her muscle spasms intensified around his cock as he shuddered and pulsated inside her.

Steve kept himself inside her in an intimate connection and never looked away as he released one hand and caressed her lips with his thumb. Cath opened her eyes at his touch, and was overcome with emotions as tears pooled in her eyes and silently slipped down her cheek. She knew in that moment that she would never love another man more than she loved Steve.

Cath struggled to find her voice. After swallowing the lump in her throat, she softly whispered "God, I love you so much." Steve leaned down, and this time, the kiss spoke of the future they would share together and the promise that he would never let anything happen to her.

After drying each other off, Steve did the leading this time and led Cath to bed where they now found each other tangled together, both with content smiles on their faces. NOW, Steve would have the nightmare-free sleep he so desired and deserved.


End file.
